Death

What else is here to tell

than the story's end?

When I fell

on the battlegrounds of sand

of times and my sins

I felt it finally and definitely.

Never tasted the water of lives since

my body damaged so badly.

Death is final answer for life's all questions.
The biggest fear.
Mountain of religions built around one endless pit.
And of course, Death is the final challenge. Everything you have made this far in the face of the transcendental darkness.
The person able to face it is truly fearless - and that skill is not free, it has to be built from scratch from experience you gain during your lifetime.
But because we still have some time, let's realize the simple fact.
We are living to die eventually, but we are not living for the death.
So not enjoying life is like wasting time which was given to us.
But what is there to be afraid of? After all, in dying there is no fear. Fear itself dies with you.
 I am not implying that death is anything beautiful or worth looking forward to. But it is greatest mystery of humankind. Even in this age, I find it poetic, that some secrets are almost impenetrable to our sharp technologies.

Work

What is the meaning of work you asked me.
Well, somebody would say that it is meaning of life... and other would say that all the work and no fun makes Jack a dull guy.
The truth lies somewhere in the middle. Human being tend to seek their usefulness in the life. The problem is, these fulfillment should be primarily for themselves, not for money or fame. But let's be realistic, everybody has to live somehow, our wretched bodies still hungering for more energy and our compassionate minds protecting whole families - that can't be done with plain philosophing. Yet the hate and sadness coming from unsatisfied lives, it makes you think.
When you walk in the forest, do you use your eyes? Or you just skim past the trees, not noticing gentle details and fascinating scenery? I tend to skim, but then I always realize how poor is my experience then. Now imagine, work is often very dull, stressful and tiresome routine.
There is old belief, stemming from many eastern doctrines, that even the biggest boring grayness of our live can be colored with our ability to feel and enjoy anything we do.
Imagine your work, imagine how it is not a punishment or means of survival. Imagine it is an art, which cannot only give you money, fame or good feeling. A long forgotten art. Everybody around you is artist copying each day the same and weary stuff. But you, oh no. You do the same things, yet in different mindset. I challenge you, just try this. Like you're an actor in life's play and your performance is for your pleasure, nothing else. Sure, there are consequences of every action, but it doesn't bother you. You just continue in the play, breathing through the whole work. Find the enjoyment in unenjoyable.

Solution

Each problem is just a solution away, they say.

May I remind you again that there is only one way

how to move the world around and standing still just won't cut it.

It is always difficult, that feeble first step, yet fear was never my master,

but a simple advisor, hidden behind the wall of the mind of my youth.

As I write this down, I am swimming in my thoughts, seeking, searching, trying to uncover new paths.

Most of them were hidden under grass of doubts, weeds choking me with words of complaining.

Let's kill them with the herbicides of constructive solution.

Security

Our world isn't exactly secure, I think you already know that. We spend so much time on building the system, that would allow us live happily and without a doubt of a dark future. Yet every day is filled with uncertainty. And I say, let the chaos have its fun. For it would be dim and gray, to live in security. Allow me to raise my objections.
Our golden cages have already spread their viruses of comfort to our bodies. Our ancestors could last an entire winter outside, we shiver even if somebody mentions the word "snow". Is this the evolution that science fables? We have given the evolution to the machines. Do not get me wrong. I am far from being a Luddite. But it is important to cultivate both sides of the coin. To maintain that delicate balance on which is entire universe based.
My solution is simple. Leave your worries about security of your life. Just leave them. Your mind will be lifted from the iron chains of stress. At least that is guaranteed. Now focus on the now. See your path before you, no definite boundaries. And go. Walk. Walk with courage.

Ease

After tormenting years of achieving and distant aspiration, it is wise to stay here, traveler. Next to me is the fountain of forgetfulness, the Lethe and kiss of emptiness. But be wary, the waters flowing here are very addictive. You may lose your sense of meaning in life. Becoming a lost soul deep down in lost generation. A rebel without a cause. People tend to forget who they really are.
Because it is very strainful to stay in the awareness, awake and prepared. This simple lucidity, which we take for granted, is the beacon of reason and wisdom, shining through our path. Nevertheless, there is a certain pain attached to it. Sitting under boddhi tree, realizing, realizing.
Suicide must be one of those retreats, another one leads to hedonism. Those extremes don't sound well to my ear, so I carefully remember my reason. I become at ease with myself. Then, relaxation becomes my life and will no longer be needed. It will be the nature of my existence.

Ardor

I can't stop.

Encased in passions, wandering in fires of glory.

You feel sorry for my taste, naming my versatile mind a waste.

I wish you understood that it is better to burn out than to lose the flame.

Complainers all around the globe, that nothing really matters

in the sea of post-modernity, sniveling their angst at me.

I find this funny, just how they are missing the

variety of life, hidden in mundane mud of our plight.

Yet the gold dust won't corrode in the sea of time.

And I can still look forward to the dusk and dawn.

While the sun is above me and air inside me,

I will stay ardent, high on life.

Mind

I am not you, just a tool through which you can be me.

Humankind were afraid to examine me deeply

enough for them to know the errors of the past.

When the death will shake your hand, I predict eternal blackness.

But you do not believe me, do you?

Doubt me, yet trust me, I am just a tool through which you can perceive.

And still, something more.

Hives of neuromodules. Scream of neurons. Lakes of neurotransmitters.

Dehumanized metaphor of homo sapiens sapiens.

Follow my lead or build your own free will

by paradoxically inhibiting me.

Waste

Nulla dies sine linea, said once painter Apelles. It means that you should not allow single day without "a line." It is important to realize that procrastination and delaying is just how our lazy mind and body works. But we have to transcend them and become active. The path is painful and tiresome, yes, we will sweat the blood by the end of the day. But realization that we have made some progress could keep us warm for at least one day.

The taste of time well spent is better then bitter tea made from the wasted time.

Sweat

Blood of the work and memento of payday.
Tears of muscles under heavy load.
Juices of mind flowing to veins
and rain from the dusty runner's road.

Emptiness

Each one of us must once stare into the dark mouth, spiraling in the meaningless existence. As we wander about and ask ourselves questions about the meanings and aspirations, our spirits diminish. It is like the taste of bland sky without the rain. I think everybody knows what I am talking about, yet we're often so suprised from those experiences. The emptiness and lack of motivation inside us. Nothing makes us happy.
Yet try to look on the problem outside the box. Specifically, look east. In many Buddhist schools is this feeling the aim of creatures. Nirvana. They don't think about empty heart as a disadvantage, quite the contrary - it is strenght. Emptiness is the positive thing on many levels.
Who's right? Does it matter? I say this, whenever you feel down in the dumps, try to enjoy that feeling of motivationless existence. Build tranquility from the sadness, so you can use your strength another day.

Revival

Phoenix will rise from its ashes again.

And he'll do it when you don't expect it.

Blinded by fire, scared and scarred by his presence,

submitting to the sudden change of events.

It's time for a dramatic entrance.

Wake up. For your sleep took too long.

Show them the meaning of gaining the second breath.

Regret

Whatever you do

your mind makes it true.

Whatever you do,

do not regret your actions

which sprouted reactions

everywhere around you.

I have learned one thing

more valuable than you think.

Whatever happens,

it is good that it happened.

Negative experiences

jeweled the road ahead

made my emotions sad

but my inner self knew

that every new view

could enlighten me.

Euphoria

I think you'll agree that there are two types of shocking events. The ones that bring happiness to your life and other ones are not so happy. But both bring forth the transformation of mind and heart, making your life never boring and continuing this biggest play you're partaking in.
Don't you ever feel the beautiful blue flame inside you, when you're feeling pumped up? That strange feeling which is unique from person to person, yet everybody calls it similarly - euphoria. It is a peak, a climax, the meaning of your strife. And when you reach it, you tend to relax and laugh at all your past problems. Even if fleeting, enjoy that catharsis.

Idea

At first it is silent. Then you hear the scream.
Satori. Kenshou. Whatever it means?
All my life I wondered, pondered about what to do to make the others value me.
Then you came, when I was sane. After you left I no longer were.
But that creative spark went to my heart and started a forest-fire there.
Allow me to kiss a flamethrower and sing until my days I over.
Revolution of the mind.

Delight

How to make someone happy? That is so easy and hard at the same time. Those who seek the great happiness, fame, fortune and other big stuff, they are bound to find that all those things never gave them real happiness. It is strange, but as the old saying goes, small things can grant more happiness than big ones. But that is known.
I tell you just this. Learning to appreciate everything around you isn't thinking small. It is just making a paradise on this world. Even when eating distasteful food and listening to your adversaries, it is wise to try to find at least a speck of delight. With time you will train yourself to be able to see it much clearly. It is muddy river, full of trash. But with time you will see the small fishes swimming inside this toxic wasteland. And you will take them out of this poisonous waters, clean them. Eat them. Those fish are beautiful thing passing by in your life, because you can't see them through clouds of anger.

Compassion

I have forgotten all your sins.
I have forgotten that you do not forget mine.
I leave you with that, be silly, angry at me.
Although believe me, your wrath has done more damage to yourself than myself.
If you leave the beast alone, it will not show your teeth.
And if it does, than you can defend yourself.
And if you can't, I will defend you.
That is compassion.

Satisfaction

Isn't it all about this?
The single road leading into the transcendental place, where you can finally be happy and complete. That is what you seek, am I right, traveler?
But what will you do after that and eons after that? Will you just dally in this oily satisfaction? The movement of our soul can't be stopped so easily. We are from the beginning to the end wild coyote spirits, never ever ceasing to hunt our prey. Because we don't want to rob ourselves from our meaning, our purpose. This all you probably know, traveler.
What if I said to you the most absurd premise. That satisfaction is meaningless motivation killer. No need for that. Sure, you have your needs, but needs does not equal satisfaction. You are already satisfied with your life, no matter how tenuous and painful it is. You have some needs and strives, but if you seek satisfaction, the fact you are still alive and able to formulate this thought, isn't it satisfying?
Wait, traveler. Don't show your back to me yet. I know you will seek satisfaction nevertheless. That is fine. But I beg you - do not forget the old wise saying. Journey is more important than your goal. Journey is goal.

Frustration

When you were younger you liked my tales about the will-o'-the-wisps. But you never really believed me until I took you to the swamp and we watched them flicker. Of course, you were a little kid then, so I crafted majestic tales about their origin, like every self-respected folk tale teller would said.
And then, in the light of those ghastly lights, you realized that everything is possible in this world. Yet you have not learned the importance of the doubt by that time. You tried to catch them, even though they were only a chemical lights.
Like the wild chase for the pot of gold somewhere at the end of the rainbow.
That feeling when you are almost touching the object you desire, yet you fail to grasp it.
It brings our mind to the boiling point. Frustrated, we tend to surrender and choke under the chains of the fate which we have forged ourselves.
Each time you will feel like losing under the pressure of failure, remember that nothing ventured is nothing gained. Never surrender son, it is often only just our laziness that forces us to submit.

Meditation

We were building for ourselves a prison for an entire millennia. The prison of our own mind. And when I say this, I do not want you to imagine that the reason, thoughts or phantasy bounded us into the slavery. No. I am talking about superstition, ill expectance, doubt and dogmas.
Why live in the garden, if you can wander into the jungle. Of course, the wilderness offers much more danger than the simple and cultivated backyard. But the willingness to delve deep inside the unknown brings forth the revolution of our ways.
The wayfaring brilliant ideas and entire evolution of humankind would not be simply possible without the right mixture of rational and irrational, optimistic and pessimistic, scientific and artistic.
Meditation is but one of the ways how to soothe brain from overindulgence of burdening dust, accumulated in your head from traumas, experiences and psychic storms crafted by unfortunate events. They have built wall for you, which you forced yourself to believe that you can't overcome it.
If you can at least try to be a tabula rasa for just a minute, it could open you new world of possibilities. It is hard and it is much easier said than done. Yet why not try it, why not learn to control your mind. Or do you like the idea of mind controlling you?

Pain

I am your ally, yet you despise me.

I am trying to warn you about things that could happen to you.

Most of the times, you wish I was dead.

Yet experience can't be gained without me.

I am the harshest mentor there is.

And have no numbers on my paycheck.

You wish me bad, I wish you good.

Homeland security of the body.

I am your pain.

Haste

From time to time

it seems just fine

to dine on emotions

and forget motions

that would worry you

that would made you blue.

Just sit back, enjoy the ride,

do not let the hearts collide,

relax your mind.

It is easy, you'll find.

Order

“I don't like you a bit,” said the Chaos.
“Yet you know as well as I that our extremes are the reason why is the balance possible,” replied Order.

How truly ironic is the fact that free will isn't actually about what you can do, but what you can forbid yourself to do. Don't believe me? Just read the old experiments with chronometers and then you will get the point of today's story. We have to create our own rules. That is the reason why order isn't pointless. But it must be our own order. Order of the mind.
Whenever you're craving some muffins, you will realize, that the mind is way ahead of you. Just before you take your hand to reach delicious stuff, the mind has already been there. Silently watching and controlling. Imagine that you stop your hand halfway through. That is inhibition. Cancelation of the order of your brain.
But you must posses great strength to argue with your own body. And that strength is our advantage if properly used.
We are stronger than our mind. Let's kill the mind. To become no-mind.

Adaptability

Murderers came to my home,

brought the fire and stone.

To their surprise,

I was sweating ice,

laughing at their terror

they realized the error

of underestimating

human evolution and adaptability.

Imagine for a while with me, that the world's axes would spin like the head of an alcoholic for a few centuries. How would you know how to dress? Arctic weather would be dancing slowly around, every morning could be beautiful winter or beautiful summer. Plants would die, unable to adapt their delicate chlorophyll-soaken bodies to the new rave dance of reality. And animals would follow, baking or freezing themselves to death.

This is an extreme condition.

Even humans, which apparently excelled in the adaptation so far would not stand a chance.

Yet I must look at our evolution and sigh in awe - how far we have come, how far will we go? We are devastating, egoistical bunch, not paying respect for our cradle that is the Earth. But despite all odds, we're surviving on the massive scale. Our technologies are stimulated by the challenge that life could end any time and our glorious history would be laughing stock for the aliens of some sort. I am exaggerating a lot. Let it be inspiration for us and let's compromise our bravado with the needs of other living forms here or anywhere else.

Harmony

It's all about the relations. Don't believe me? Friend, just look at the music, relationships, economy, chemistry...
Alone is nothing in this world, loneliness is the fictional diarrhea of self-absorbed people. Every action carries significant consequence. And that is the bane of excessive egoism. Our mind tends to wander only in his own playground, never able to expand beyond its backyard.
What would be evil without good and beauty without the ugliness. Humans can only comprehend extremes, because there is relationship of contrast between them.
The moment every part of the work touch itself, that is the harmony among the anything you can imagine. The music of spheres as would the Pythagoreans said.

Challenge

The sun is boiling my head to the unpleasant degrees. Deep in my mouth is the kiss of the sand, forcing me to choke and merrily filling my lungs with the garbage that could possibly stop my breathing skill. If I could see the blue and sincere sky above, there would be the silhouettes of vultures, because I can hear their voices, coming from the heavens.
Death is the final challenge. Humans have built their life around the ability to refuse to take this challenge. It is in itself a quest of its own, searching, understanding and accepting various facts of this reality.

"We can't live in the paradise."

What would be the reason of our living, if the plentiful times would come in our time? I find it hard to believe, that our existence is only for pure hedonism. In most cases, enjoyment is simply a reward for our ambitions and will to go on. Suicide of boredom and worthless despair isn't a sin. It is a simple sign of cowardice.

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts..."

--W. Shakespeare, As You Like It

Let it be for a fleeting moment, that the world is simply a game. The ability to see it in this light could bring levitas to the heaviest philosophies.

Conflict

Could it be a better name suited for man's relationship with the world an also with himself?

Turns out that our eternal struggle, as the Heraclitus of Ephesus would like to hear, is the great part of the nature of the reality. Yet we despise it! We despise our animalistic nature, still even in this day is nearly impossible for us to inhibit our instincts and forceful solutions.
Technology and knowledge have aged well, but we couldn't say the same about our emotions and equilibrium. Most of us are overreacting spoiled brats or passive aggressive cynics, without any gratitude for the plight of the life. There is no denying in the pain we feel all around us, however, it is with few exceptions always the pain we have brought on ourselves. There is no hope in escaping the conflict, it must be resolved. First of all, the struggle within and then we can continue, even to the stars.

Doubt

While the element of the doubt can indeed make us totally powerless, still I think it is our right, while we're standing at the edge of the cliff, looking down to the abyss of the painful needles and eyes of the past. The question is: what is right? Is there a line among those ideals? The solution is plain and simple, the voice within us. However, our gut feelings can indeed be very unclear and chaotic. Free will have the tendency to wander in the forests of long forgotten faiths.
The result will be bloody and gory. What is the most fascinating is the simple conundrum, that without the doubt, we would live almost perfect life. The agnostics would suffer and shrivel under the rule of certainty. And everything would make the sense. But in the real life, the meanings will often become so intertwined with many ideals, ideas and persons and the process will leave so many problems in its trail. There is last prayer at the end, may you never doubt your actions. All of us act irrational from time to time. Yet, there is no meaning in regret. None than pain of the soul.

Tranquility

Tell me friend, what is the calmest thing you have ever experienced?

Softest silk on my eyes.
The heaviness of heart of smallest size.

Temperature that gives you nor chills nor sweat.
Simple meal consisting of soft bread.

Walk while you talk with a friend.
The music you hear when your wounds mend.

Sky screaming colors inside my head.
Earthly problems lying in coffin, dead.

Realization of every pain in the world.
And still not doing what is blindly told.

Just breathing the tea,
and drinking air,
every day we are closer to the salvation
of our body, soul and mind.
Will you too be able to find
tranquility...?

Time

Time... time waits for no man. You will learn this lesson again and again and again, until the very time will resonate within you... words like death, decay and destruction; but also change, revolution and flow. Most painful for human being is the lack of understanding of the time. Our minds tend to wander, seek places inside it. But time isn't the same as space. Space is something we can go through, search for new locations along the axes of our three dimensions. But time tends to go one dimensionally. And we can't do anything about it. It is the lack of control that scares anyone.
Maybe that's why was written so many fictions about time traveling. We want to be masters of our fate, not just pawns in the chess game we can not even conceive. Many philosophers and scientists contemplated about the real substance of the time, some of them deemed it fictional construct of human mind, others the physical constant entangled in many interesting and hypothetical phenomena.
What matters for the average Joe is the fact, that time exists - construct or not. We use it as a guide and our tendency to compare everything to time brings many issues out of the background to the plain sight. Mortality of human beings. My future. Future of the world. The end of the world. All those themes are so strong that they strike a spark of doubt even in the most stable persons.
I think that the solution lies in the fact that we must free our minds of this time dependent paradigm and live life in its purest and simple moment. At any rate that is really the only thing we can do.

Expectance

“Honestly, I don't know... should I even bother to do this?”
The voice resonated and attracted my attention. I was standing in line, when I noticed poor wretch of the man, sitting on the chair, hands trembling and voice broken with oily self-pity. Everybody ignored him, but I somehow couldn't. When I finished the queue, I deposited all my money from inheritance to my account, praying that it will be safe and more useful there. Young female clerk winked at me... or maybe I was just too tired and started seeing flirtatious things all around me. I smiled in reply and went to the exit. Well, the man was still sobbing. I couldn't help myself. I asked him what's the matter.
“I had great planes, high ambitions. I was once very young like you, full of vitality. And now, what of it? I just didn't have the guts to fulfil my long awaited dream.”
Well I asked him why he went here and make a public disgrace of himself?
His reply sounded bitter: “Because, my friend, I wanted to fulfill my dream, but just couldn't. I wanted to do it here.”
I thought, well he needs money. He wants to withdraw it, but just doesn't see the point in it. He's older than anybody I have seen and thinks to himself, what is the point? I can take all my money out of the bank and go to the holiday at the golden beaches of Côte d'Azur, or go wrestling with the unforgiving clock of the age anywhere else. But why?
The motivation speaker in me rose to my mind and took control: “Well, don't be afraid old-timer! There is never too late to enjoy the money. Sure, you have the best years of life in the trash can, but everybody needs vacation from the time to time. I say, go for it! No matter what it is,” I said with the smile.
The guy apparently warmed up and stopped looked so grim and depressed. I was fascinated by it. Such a 360° degree turnabout is always a sight to see. He looked up to me and said: “Thank you, that really helped me. Really, I don't know why I was in doubt. Thank you, really.”
“No problem, we all need sometimes a little motivation. Remember, your expectance sometimes wants to kill your motivation. You mustn't always see the dark fate in front of you. Expect something good of the life."
I left the bank and the depressed retiree alone to his fortunes.
Then the old man stood up and shouted:
“This is a robbery! Everybody on the ground!”

Curiosity

Curiosity killed the cat, or so do they say.
I was born with terminal illness of curiosity, so I guess I am just a little too biased. I always regarded curiosity as human strength, not flaw. Don't you ever wonder, even in this age of all-know-itness what lurks around the hidden corners? If our ancestors wouldn't be interested in those things, we would be still living in the huts. Every thought revolution must stem deep from the adventurous mind.
But nowadays, they force me to specialize, to ask not any questions about the nature of the universe. They will tell me something like: “We already have all the answers.” Skeptical agnostics will then tell me: “Why even bother?”

However, those replies aren't anything new. We've all been there. Our arrogance comes from the very fact that we are only organic form capable of arrogance. We are lords of creation, everything is in our grasps. History teaches us, that the pursuit of knowledge could be longer and even eternal. And that is fine. I find it comforting that there will always be some dragons. And if not, let's just wonder about them, let's draw with transparent pencils on our brain lobes those images. Why would you forbid something so poetic and unpractical like our fantasies. The essence of any creativity, scientific or artistic, is rooted in the ability to imagine the unimaginable.
Robert A. Heinlein once said that specialization is for the insects. He meant by this that you can do so much more, you can really know the world around you from many perspectives. It's fun. The bored people just lack motivation, not the stimuli. Because we are living in the world of wonders, not just because it's 2011. The spark of unknown will always be there.
Curiosity killed the cat... but without pain there is no gain. Even if it's the painful kiss of death.